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Femion » Music

I Tawt I Tah A Puddy Tat Dohls

October 25th, 2006

Epileptic Seisure!
Pussycat Dolls: I don’t need a man

Six lingerie-clad dancing girls, only one (and occasionaly the black girl so that they have street cred) gets to sing.

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Blast from the Past… 2001, that is

October 18th, 2006

2001, the year I turned 12, the year we lived in Vancouver, the year I started spending money on money of my own choice. I got three hundred dollars in gift money, and with it I bought:
Destiny’s Child: Destiny’s Child
Destiny’s Child: The Writing’s on the Wall
Prozzak: Hot Show
Aqua: Aquarius
As you can see, my taste in music was far from perfect, but I was in the excusable pop faze that most pre-teens go through. After about five months of listening to the CDs over and over again, I decided I’d had enough and sold them to a used-CD store for a very small return (4$).
In the past couple days a number of events have occured that make me feel nostalgic, including connecting with a few of my old classmates from Vancouver over Facebook. For the first time since I sold them, I listened to those CDs again, and in honour of that, I’m putting up three of the videos that, though dated and cheesy, have a nostalgic value for me.
Destiny’s Child: Bills Bills Bills

Even in this early single, you can see the beginnings of Beyonce’s materialistic sort of feminism.
Prozzak: Be As

I used to think this video was so inspiring. I requested it at the seventh grade prom in honour of my time in Vancouver. It didn’t get played.
Aqua: Around the World

I never got the point of this song until now: it’s an Aqua song. It’s not supposed to make sense.

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Jessica Simpson Can Keep Herself to Herself.

October 12th, 2006

In fact, I would be more than happy if she faded into obscurity right now and never shared her music with me again!
Jessica Simpson: I belong to me

Unfortunately, that was not exactly what she meant. This is her version of Nick Lachey’s reflection on their relationship video What’s left of me. For a second, though, I thought that Jessica might not just be up to her old tricks (ie, touching herself alot, overacting, walking around in her underwear and hair extentions) when she cut off her hair. I thought it would be a statement of “ROAR! I am not just a dumb blonde! I will cut off my hair so that you will stop judging me. See! I have more than one layer!”, but no, it’s more so: “ROAR! I have short hair! I can look deshevelled and whoreish just like Kate Moss and Paris Hilton! Look at my trashy make-up and tiara. I’m not so innocent now.”

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Seek the Sequel

October 5th, 2006

k-os (aka Canada’s respectable contribution to hip-hop) has a new album coming out on October 10th called Atlantis: Hymns for Disco and this is the first single off of it:
k-os: The Seekwill

It’s okay. I absolutely loved every song on Joyful Rebellion (I even bought it, which shows how much I love it) so I hope this one’s just as good. The cool thing about this video is that the faces in the yearbook are all faces of hip young Canadian celebrities, like the guitarist from Billy Talent, muchmusic vj Sarah Taylor (at least I think I saw her), and that blonde girl from Video On Trial (sorry, couldn’t remember her name).
PS: The duck was Soupballs.

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It came from Lebanon

September 28th, 2006

And ended up in Canada, where Canadian content laws earned its music much more money and airtime than it deserved. It called itself Massari, which means money, cut its beard into a small pencil line which is supposed to be attractive, and, with the help of a very expensive prop department (complete with flashing LED belt buckle and spinning necklace) it called itself a superstar.
We end up with this, the crap music video being broadcast all the time on Muchmusic:
Massari ft. Belly: Rush the Floor

Massari, Massari, Massari, who do you think you’re kidding? You’re not rich. You’re not sexy. You probably wouldn’t be able to get those beautiful women in your video in real life, and you’ll probably never own even 50 per cent of the wealth 50 cent has. You’re in Toronto. Admit it. I saw the Canadian bills Belly dropped and the reflection of the Lord of the Rings in the car window.
Once again, modern rap proves itself to be only about image: a cheesy one.

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Finally, a Gangsta Rapper I can identify with

September 21st, 2006

This is a crap music/good music entry. First: the target:
Chamillionaire: Ridin’ Dirty

In this video, Chamillionaire tries to show that the glamourous thug life is much like a wresting match: it’s all fake.
Now, the parody:
Weird Al: White and Nerdy

This video is awesome for so many reasons:
1. It’s Weird Al
2. It’s Weird Al parodying music that I’ve seen on muchmusic
3. The two gangsters have the same reaction to Al that rappers say white people have of them.
4. “Only question I/Ever thought was hard/Was do I like Kirk/Or do I like Picard”
5. He’s got a Segwey
6. He looks a lot like Kevin Federline
7. He’s got a “Carl Sagan is my homeboy” t-shirt
8. Straight Outta Lynwood is coming out on September 26

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Barenaked Ladies are Easy

September 14th, 2006

Barenaked Ladies: Easy

It’s bad music week, but I am putting up the latest video of one of my favourite bands, The Barenaked Ladies, to celebrate that their new CD, Barenaked Ladies Are Me, was released this week.
To be honest, I think the video is strange and the song is so-so, but I can forgive them.

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Quadless Concert

September 7th, 2006

This Thursday music post is delayed because last night I went to the Frosh week concert. I was up in the front row and the view was awesome although I may have damaged my ears. (I promise I won’t do it again, mom.)
Pilot Speed: Barely Listening

The Chronicles were band fronted by a rapper and singer. They play progressive reggae and rap.
Cuff The Duke was an interesting band. They sounded like country music but they had a xylophone, synthesizer and two electric keyboards. I think they were my favourite.
Uncut was a basic warm up band. Loud, fast tempo, and terrible vocals; I didn’t really like them.
Pilot Speed was the lead act. I wasn’t expecting much from this band because they used to be called Pilate and I found tons of copies of their second CD in the two dollar bin at a record store. I was pleasantly surprised.

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Rise Against Bad Music

August 31st, 2006

Just to show that I’m not biased towards pop or rap, this week’s bad music comes from punk.
Rise Against: Ready To Fall

Here’s what Rise Against have to say about their video:
“Ready To Fall” is the most important video Rise Against has ever made. This video transcends our band and our music and talks about a much bigger picture, a picture that affects each of us. I hope people check this video out and then share it with their friends and loved ones. We are all witness’ to the suffering that our planet and it’s people endure, the only question now is: what will we do about it?
Right. Family affair.
It’s pretty obvious what the general message is. We’ve got to respect our planet because it’s where we live. Hey, I agree with that; I’m the first person to say that Global Warming is a problem.
This video isn’t just about Global Warming, though. It’s all over the place. It’s just a bunch of propaganda “don’t eat meat because women throw baby chicks and keep dolphins in cages for entertainment” video clips that probably came off of Peta, mixed with images of the band standing on FAKE tree stumps and standing in front of a waterfall. Be a vegan, or else the beautiful waterfall will disappear. Okay, maybe the waterfall has more to do with logging, but still. That waterfall’s in a protected park in British Columbia, it’s in no danger. I’ve been there.
What bothers me more is that they’re using their video to emotionally manipulate people. It’s human nature that if someone successful is saying something you truly believe in, you’ll tend to believe in everything else that person is saying. A lot of people are genuinely concerned about Global Warming, and when they see this, they will link animal cruelty, the logging industry, and Global Warming all in the same level of credulity and importance. However, the entire purpose of the video is not to inform the viewer or tell them what they can do, it’s designed to make the viewer mad, and angry audiences work better for punk. Somehow, during the course of the song, Rise Against has gone from pretentious to virtuous.
So go out and buy their new CD. It will save the world. (and all the cute wittle animals)

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But I do feel like dancing…

August 24th, 2006

…everytime I hear the music of guilty pleasure, gay and disco proud, alterno-pop band The Scissor Sisters. This is the first single off of their soon-to-be-released album Ta-Dah.
Scissor Sisters: I don’t feel like dancing

The only beef with this group is that Ana Matronic is sort of useless. She’s backup vocals (backup percussion in this video, with the tambourine). I feel like I’m playing that old Sesame Street game: one of these things does not belong whenever I see a picture of the band. Well, you gotta hand it to a biological-born girl who was one of the finalists in the biggest drag queen show in the world.

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